6 Genders of Judaism

A fascinating look at gender representations in classic Judaism. The Sojourn blog notes they’ll be exploring the original source texts over the summer, so follow them there for continued updates.

“There’s a huge amount of information to unpack here, and we’ll be continuing all summer long to do just that, including looking at the legal obligations of each of the genders and what the real-world application of this information is. For now, though, the main point to take from all of this: The male/female binary is not, in any way, the exclusive system of gender classification in traditional Judaism*. ” 

Read about the 6 genders here, and see the original source here.

REMEMBERING TYLER CLEMENTI

Another child lost to suicide-by-bullying. Five years later, his evangelical family is doing something about it.

“I just had this sense of harm,” she sighed. “I know it’s hard to understand, and strange to go back to that place. There was a suicide of a junior in the high school in June. So we had talked about suicide. And at the time, I really couldn’t understand how anyone could be so, so sad to harm themselves. I’ve since learned how you can be that sad.”

Read more about their foundation, and about the Day 1 Campaign.

Get Grounded

Today I thought I would teach you about grounding exercises, which are a relaxation technique often used to help manage anxiety, fear, and trauma responses. It’s a process that’s easy to learn, and it’s something you can do anytime, anywhere.

If you’d like to try this exercise, sit comfortably in your chair or on the couch. Each of these steps should last for about 5 deep breaths.

1. First, start by breathing all the way into your belly. Just notice how the breath feels – is the air cool or warm? Is there an odor?  It doesn’t really matter, just notice whatever it’s like. (5 breaths)

2. When you’re breathing steadily, I want you to notice your feet. How do they feel? Are your ankles or knees crossed? Pay attention to the weight of your feet; notice which parts of your feet and ankles are touching shoes, socks, carpet, the chair….now allow your feet to feel heavy. (5 breaths)

3. Move your attention up to your legs and knees. Are the backs of your knees touching anything? What do your thighs and calves feel like? Are they pressing into the chair or couch? Again, you’re just noticing. Let your legs be heavy. (5 breaths)

4. Notice your hips and pelvis. If you’re sitting up, notice which parts of your body are touching the seat. Are you sitting evenly? Still taking deep breaths, let your hips become heavy. (5 breaths)

5. Now your back and shoulders… pay attention to how those feel. Do you notice any tension? How do your clothes feel? Are your shoulders hunched? Each time you breath out, let your shoulders sag a little more. Roll your head a little to notice your shoulders. Let your shoulders become heavy. (5 breaths)

6. Pay attention to your arms and hands. Are your hands linked, or your arms crossed? It doesn’t matter, just notice how they are. What parts of your hands and arms are touching fabric, furniture, technology? Notice your wrists, notice each finger. Let your hands be heavy. Let your arms be heavy. (5 breaths)

7. Finally, notice your face. Relax your jaw. Relax your scalp. Breathe deeply and wiggle your jaw. Is your face tense? Smile a little bit, puff your cheeks. What does your face feel like? Let your jaw get heavy, and yawn if you need to. Just notice how it all feels. (5 breaths)

8. Now bring your attention to your whole body. Your heart rate will have lowered, and if you were feeling anxious or uneasy, you may notice a slightly calmer feeling. As you wrap up the exercise, pay attention to what’s going on in the room around you, and reassure yourself that you are okay, you are safe, and you will be just fine. (5 breaths)

 

You can work through this in a meeting, in the car, in class, or laying in bed. You can use this when you feel overwhelmed, worried, angry, or insecure. Grounding exercises are an important tool in the emotional regulation toolkit, and the more you practice the easier it will be.

Now go drink a glass of water, and give someone a hug.

WoCSHN Responds to AASECT Awards

The membership and allies of the Women of Color Sexual Health Network respond to announcements of AASECT award winners:

“It is outrageous that a book with this history and an editor with this ethical approach to his work be given this award. How can AASECT make claims about increasing diversity and supporting under-represented communities while, in the same breath, rewarding this book? The message this sends is “we say we want diversity, but only on our terms.””

Read more here.

What’s in a Name? Everything.

Joe Fitzgerald Rodriguez reports in the San Francisco Examiner how the international debate over Facebook’s “Real Name Policy” has local consequences for the Bay Area. When organizers for what is probably the world’s best known Pride event faced a contentious vote over whether to allow Facebook space in the parade, a vote which fell 5 to 4 in favor of Facebook.

“Banning the social media giant would have been a bold move that might have put pressure on Facebook to change its stance on its controversial “authentic name” policy. However, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg called Gary Virginia, the board’s president, and perhaps other board members to discuss the issue, according to documents obtained by The San Francisco Examiner.”

Minutes of the spirited meeting suggest that the brief calls from Zuckerberg implied donations or threats to withhold such if the vote decided against them.

Read more here.

Sleep Smart

Explore these 16 articles discussing various factors that impact what might be the most important hours of anyone’s day: the time we spend asleep. The research serves as a great introduction to the topic, as well as fleshes out our understanding of exactly how restful sleep benefits us, from how sleep enables the brain to expel toxins, to promoting more grey matter and higher emotional intelligence.

Read more here.

Not a Welfare Queen

Anna Gibson writes a piece introducing the myth of the welfare queen and the realities hidden behind that myth.

“What we find in impoverished communities are a number of Black women who work two to four jobs to keep food on the table, according to the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development. This lack of time limits the ability to actively apply and pursue higher education or at least finish an equivalency program such as a GED. The lack of education keeps them away from higher paying jobs and leads to them and their children being ceaselessly being mired in poverty.”

Included are links to more detailed analyses of this pernicious and politically effective lie and the cascading consequences of building policy that conflates and demonizes being Black and poor.

Read more here.

North Texas Therapy Referrals

I am often asked for therapist referrals in the Dallas/Denton area, so I thought I would make a post with my favorite professionals in the area. This list will be updated from time to time, so please feel free to leave any referrals or suggestions in the comments below.

All of the people and clinics posted here are recommended either from my own personal/professional contact with them, or from direct recommendations by people I know.

Feleshia Porter works in North Dallas, and is a fantastic source of support for individuals and couples, particularly for folks who are gender-nonconforming and for those in alternative relationships. Her office environment is really interesting and comfortable, and even one meeting with her can be incredibly helpful and affirming. She doesn’t take insurance, but offers necessary documentation for insurance reimbursement.

Dr. Lisa Hensley at Iris Psychological Service is an all-around amazing human and excellent psychologist working out of Arlington. She is dedicated to social justice, and specializes in working with folks from marginalized populations. She can do assessments, therapy, consultation, and education (she’s a former professor). She takes Blue Cross/Blue Shield, Humana, and Cigna, and can provide documentation if you need reimbursement from any other insurance companies.

Dr. Kyle Erwin is a highly knowledgeable and affirming clinician in Denton.  His clinical training sites have included collegiate, community centers, and VA Hospitals. He specializes in the assessment and treatment of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), other trauma related disorders, couple distress, substance use disorders, family psychotherapy, and LGBQ and Trans communities. He accepts Blue Cross/Blue Shield, Magellan, Aetna, Galaxy, and Medicare, and can provide documentation for out-of-network reimbursement.

Ruby B. Johnson is a social worker and chemical dependency counselor in Plano. She is a lot of fun, very kind and supportive. She specializes in substance abuse treatment, anxiety, depression, grief, and personal growth. She works with individuals, couples, and court-ordered clients, and is a certified Interactions Coach Practitioner. No insurance, but can give you documentation for reimbursement.

Dr. Erin Hammond is in McKinney, and is a licensed psychologist who can do assessments, therapy, and consultation. She’s incredibly gentle and kind-hearted, and is one of the best listeners I’ve ever met. She is very client-centered and works with a variety of populations, including gender-variant folks and people in alternative relationships. She takes Blue Cross/Blue Shield and private pay. Her website also has a comprehensive list of resources that are worth checking out.

Shawn Chrisman is in Dallas, near 75 and Walnut Hill. He is a Licensed Professional Counselor who specializes in therapy for people with non-traditional sexual and relationship styles. He’s super affirming and has a very comfortable and calm demeanor. I know him professionally, and have heard good things from others who’ve worked with him.

Zandra Ellis is enthusiastic and passionate about her work, and enjoys working with all kinds of folks. She works only with substance abuse clients, and approaches individual, group, and family therapy from a gender- and orientation-affirming lens. She also does life coaching, African American and LGBTQ community-based work and is an excellent resource on trauma and DBT.

Dr Elizabeth Zedaran is a licensed psychologist in Richardson. She treats a variety of issues and is affirming of diverse identities and non-mainstream spiritual practices.

Dr. Steve Tankersley is a psychiatrist in Dallas (OakLawn area). He provides psychotherapy services and pharmacological management. He is affirming of identity/orientation, and specializes in chronic pain management.

Elizabeth Newsom is a clinical social worker offering therapy services in Dallas and in Plano. She specializes in depression, anxiety, relationship issues, spirituality, sexuality, and personal growth.

Renee Baker is a Trans-identified licensed professional counselor in Dallas; she has a long background working with young people and families, and is a dedicated social justice advocate. Renee is also a licensed massage therapist.

CeCe Dorough is a fantastic therapist in Dallas, and is affordable for clients paying out of pocket. She also takes insurance and can help with reimbursement documentation if you need that. She specializes in a variety of issues, and is affirming of alternative sexualities and lifestyles.

Don Greever is a licensed professional counselor in Dallas specializing in trauma, as well as other issues such as anxiety, depression, and interpersonal violence. Affirming of identity/orientation.

The University of North Texas Psychology Clinic (Denton) is open to the community on a sliding scale. This is a very affordable and reputable option. Clients work with trainee therapists who are under the supervision of faculty. The program is accredited by the American Psychological Association, and the clinicians there are generally very competent.

Richland Oaks Counseling Center is located in Richardson, and is affiliated with Argosy University. They are also a training clinic, and are affordable and accessible, with clinicians offering services in a number of different languages.

Dr. Marlys Lamar is a psychologist in Denton offering a variety of treatment approaches and specialties. She is dedicated to safe space and is affirming of all identities. She does not take insurance but offers sliding scale and insurance documentation.

Dr. Edita Ruzgyte is a counselor, educator, and AASECT certified sex therapist in Fort Worth. She sees individuals, couples, and families.

Elizabeth Gehrman is a marriage and family therapist in Forth Worth with over ten years of experience. Accepts most forms of insurance.

Peter Kahle is a doctor and faith based therapist, who is affirming of other identities and supportive of atheist/agnostic clients.

Julie Cross has over 20 years experience ranging from career counseling services to psychopharmacology and cognitive based treatments.

Aaron Brown specializes in treatment of the whole person, their values, relationships, and physical fitness as well as mental health.

Susie Hair serves the Dallas area with specialties in eating disorders and substance abuse.

Michael Salas primarily serves gay men and has extensive experience treating sex addiction, gender questioning individuals and their families, and also leads group therapy sessions dealing with shame and vulnerability.

Dr. Sherry Huey specializes in emotional disorders, sleep disorders, and ADHD.

Dr. Suresh Sureddi researching bipolar disorder and specializing in treatment for a range of emotional and sleep disorders.

Patrick Young has over 30 years experience treating children and adolescents with depression and ADHD and is LGBT affirming.

Lee Kinsey is a relationship counselor and sex therapist specializing in LGBT relationships, transgender services, and mood disorders.

Paulette Lee is explicitly affirming of clients from the polyamorous and kink communities, offering relationship and general counseling in an affirming, non judgmental atmosphere.

Dr. Anetta Ramsey runs Chrysalis Eating Disorder Center but also takes private patients. Does not take insurance, but strives to be affordable, as well as preserving safe space. Also runs a DBT focused weekly group therapy.

Anxious

Photographer Katie Joy Crawford recently released twelve self portraits that make painfully apparent what life with an anxiety disorder feels like. Haunting photos make real for the viewer the experience of feeling one’s voice strangled by anxiety, their mind clouded, and even what it is to actually feel an absence with you wherever you go.

““Anxiety bars the sufferer from the risk of discovery, the desire to explore new ideas, and the possibility of exiting a comfort zone,” she writes in the description of her project, ‘My Anxious Heart.’ “It makes sure that it will never be alone. It finds you when you’re in the midst of joy, or alone in your own mind. It is quiet and steady, reminding you of your past failures, and fabricating your future outcomes.””

See them here.