Male Privilege Through Trans Eyes
In the grand tradition of Peggy McIntyre’s Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack, many folks have contributed to growing awareness of privilege by adding to lists of privilege held by various identities in America. This list of privileges and benefits held by a man has an unusual but incredibly powerful perspective, since he is transgender. James St. James has the unique experience of having lived without the benefit of male privilege, which provides an uncommon view of the topic:
Dangerous Curves
Pinup Girl Clothing released their new line of sexy pinup fashion specifically for sisters of size. The models and clothes and photography and makeup and hair… all of it…are absolutely gorgeous… I couldn’t stop looking!!
See the Beautifully Breathtaking Lookbook here.
“Groundbreaking, glamorous, and most of all, gorgeous are only a few of the words that come to mind with the Beautifully Breathtaking Lookbook. Featuring women ranging from sizes XL to 4X in clothing from Laura Byrnes California, Deadly Dames by Micheline Pitt, and Pinup Couture, this Lookbook celebrates curves, body positivity, and our belief that Every Body deserves clothing that captures how truly beautiful they are. Starring models Kelsey Olsen, Rosie Mercado, English Cleveland, Rhapsody Artajo and photographed to perfection by our gifted guest photographer Lars Kommienezuspadt at the Melrose Umbrella Co. in Los Angeles, we are honored to present this remarkable Lookbook to you all!”
Fashionably Genderish
Increased media visibility means increased capital investment – meaning new and better products for Trans and gender non-conforming folks. Hooray for fabulous fashion! Ivette Feliciano reports on fashion and gender in America today.
Watch the video, or read the transcript here: The Right to be Handsome
(it is a tad trans-masculine focused – hoping for a similar story looking at women’s clothing soon!)
The Pensieve
In the fourth Harry Potter book, Dumbledore introduces us to the pensieve, a mystical bowl into which he can deposit the contents of his mind, and look at all his thoughts, ideas, and memories from a more objective perspective before putting it all back into his head.
It’s a beautiful idea, isn’t it? That there might exist a way in which we could silence the monkey-mind… that we could separate ourselves, just for a moment, from the things we are experiencing.
To me, the therapy room is like a pensieve. Clients come in, and bring with them all the experiences, thoughts, memories, problems, and confusions they carry with them throughout the day (it’s exhausting, right? carrying all that stuff?), and they pour it all out in front of the therapist. Then, together, the client and therapist can observe, analyze, brainstorm, decipher, explore, celebrate, mourn, and understand all those confusing and overwhelming ideas.
By having a therapist as your teammate, you’ve got another set of eyes on your pensieve – an objective person who is only on your side. They are trained to look into pensieves; they can see patterns, walk you through murky areas, identify snags and snarls, and help you find ways to smooth things out and make life a little better for yourself. They’re trained to help you know yourself better, not by telling you how to feel, but by helping you explore your pensieve more efficiently and effectively.
I love therapy. As a client, as a therapist, as an educator – I believe therapy can work wonders in anyone’s life. Finding a good therapist is key, because the pensieve only works well when everyone is comfortable. But when you find the right person, the amount of insight, self-growth, and personal productivity you can experience is truly revolutionary.
Affirming Others
It takes a lot to go onstage. Standing under bright lights while a group of people sit and stare at you is, to put it mildly, an incredibly vulnerable position, and it can be doubly so for those who have experienced marginalization and oppression throughout their lives. Last night I watched fifteen performers pour their hearts out at the Glitterbomb Queer Variety Show, and I watched a packed audience respond with so much love and support and overwhelming positivity, it blew my mind.
So today I’m reflecting on what it means to affirm someone. More than just tolerating or accepting a person – truly lifting them up and celebrating who they are.
I think that’s my favorite thing about DFW’s queer performance art scene – the ways in which the audience’s cheers and hugs and dollar bills speak so loudly of affirmation. All those things mean the audience is saying more than just “I see you.” When they give such enormous affirmation, they’re saying “I see you, and I celebrate you!”
And isn’t that what we all need, to be seen and celebrated? Not put on a pedestal, not idealized, not depersonalized, but actually seen, and actually celebrated.
It’s a skill I wish I could see more of in my communities. Because I move among lots of people who belong to marginalized groups, I am around a LOT of folks who are rendered invisible on a systemic level. I’m talking about Queer and Trans folks, those with chronic pain and other physical differences, Brown, Indigenous, and People of Color (BIPoC), and many, many more. It’s my hope that I can make myself a better friend and ally by being deliberate about my own affirmations of others’ identities.
I’m inspired (as always) by the performers and the audience from last night’s show, and I am thinking hard on ways to be more actively affirming for those around me. Here are some of my thoughts, feel free to add your own!
Ways to Affirm Others
- make eye contact
- smile often
- offer a genuine compliment
- ask about preferred pronouns, and use them
- make sure I’m knowledgeable about cultures other than my own
- mirror language (using the same words the person used to describe themselves)
- a quick Facebook message when I see someone having a hard day
- in-the-moment self-correcting things I say wrong
giveoffer a hug, pat on the back, or hand squeeze- offer a quick check-in when I sense something might be wrong
- stand up for others in the moment
- challenge oppressive language
- tell people when they do a good job
- own my personal privilege and set it down whenever possible
- know when to be quiet
- be willing to hear feedback
- encourage self care
- check/ask for gender-neutral bathrooms
- share my belongings, time, knowledge, and energy
Death and Compassion
A new study published in the peer-reviewed journal Personality and Social Psychology Review looks at the ways our ideas around death impact our relationships.
“Authors of a new study reviewed earlier research that had set out to determine how the awareness of death might influence people’s positive behaviors towards others and themselves. Lead author Kenneth Vail and his team discussed some of the noteworthy findings. One study, for example, found that people are actually more likely to help out others when they are in the immediate vicinity of a cemetery.”
Big Bang for Your Buck
An important announcement – hoping to see diverse genders/cultures/abilities in their incoming class!
“Starting this week, Big Bang Theory and The Chuck Lorre Family Foundation have established The Big Bang Theory Scholarship Endowment—valued at $4 million dollars.
The endowment will go directly to 20 low-income students entering the science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM) fields at UCLA this year and then benefit five new students each academic year in perpetuity. The inaugural class will be announced this fall at the show’s set in Burbank, CA with cast and crew in attendance.”
Read the whole article here, including a list of donors.
Affirm Yourself: You are Marvelous
I’m Pissed Too
A solid read on maintaining allyship, by Hasira Asheuma.
“These intransigent forces would be ecstatic if I were to adopt the paradigm that informs me that he’s nothing but a privileged cracker menace that walks these fruited plains of America with the blood of my ancestors stained with each step. However, for either one of us to adopt these views we would have to conveniently ignore the history of black/brown justice movements in this country. We would be suffering from historical amnesia if we were to forget who fought along side us, paid heavy prices and sometimes sacrificed their lives. #blacklivesmatter”
Read the whole article here: “I’m Pissed Too!!” Acknowledging and Maintaining Our White Allies
Dr. Karen McDowell 